Sunday, August 22, 2010

An Expression of Nothingness

Vanitas Still-Life by Edwart Collier (1697)

Who is my friend when I have none.
Who shall stick by my side when I'm all alone.
Driving backwards into the multitude of colourless.
When I'm forcing myself into a willful heavy drone.

My books and my music can only serve me awhile.
What then, after they be depleted.
Services to me shall be rewarded but who would care.
Lost in the depths of loneliness, unreachable, irritated.

Shooing away any cause of comfort that may come my way.
Choosing instead to drown myself into heavy decibels of sound.
Losing myself in my ineptitude at what I do.
My expression is a contour of lines and a deep frown.

Everything seems a burden, everyone seems to leer.
Laugh at my unhealthy disposition.
And make fun of the broken wailing inside me.
As I watch them in silence and a spark of recognition.

I have visited these times too often.
But now become too used to the carefree languor.
With nothing to drive me now, the loneliness had crept within.
With nothing for me to hold tight, wrath bent over me ever closer.

With nothing in mind, I began to write.
Meaningless words, shapeless colours, colourless hues.
My gray brain forming an enticing cave of safety.
I return to it, writing about nothing, my wandering mind let loose.


Aayushi Mehta said...

Nice, you've expressed the feeling very well. Loved the fourth stanza.

D2 said...

Thanks, Aayushi.
I'm glad you liked it. :)

Anonymous said...

Everyone of us go through htese often and yeah , though its common , it just makes you feel so rotten .. And you have captured those feelings and framed in perfectly imperfect words ! You will get over it , just like how I am :D

Sayak Shome said...

Diminished to one, it may seem,
Exiled by expressions.
Light finds a way to gleam,
Even through the darkest depressions.

Cheer up buddy! Why so sad?

D2 said...

@Colourful :
Yeah, you're right. At times these feelings are overwhelming and there's little one can do to overcome them. They just go away on their own when they must.
And thanks. :)
Welcome to Writering!

@Sayak :
Beautiful words, as usual, buddy.
I'm fine. This was just a phase I was unfortunately going through. It's passed now. :)

wanderer said...

To accept is one thing
To deny another.
A life struck back at you
Books will urge you to read on.

quite heart tugging...

D2 said...

@Wanderer :
And let us hope that book may never reach an ultimate end; that it may go on and on, finally into the depths of the unfathomable.

Anonymous said...

A passing phase eh? Good what came out it.

D2 said...

@Sowmya (Spunkysaturnine) :
Thanks. :D
And I must say, I love your new name!

Zave said...

Somebody is got to be cheered real bad!
But yes, its true, how often does it happen when we just let our mind wander anywhere, getting lost somewhere even we have no idea.

Anonymous said...

Thanks! And gosh so many typos, that's so unlike me! I meant 'Good what came out of it' :)

D2 said...

@Zave :
Yeah, exactly. Though it might hurt sometimes, it's quite freeing!

@Spunky Saturnine :
I know. That happens. "of" is quite a small word! :D

Purba said...

Rainy blues? You should have a plate of piping hot pakoras with spicy chutney.

The best antidote to make your blues vanish.

Ritz.. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ritz.. said...

With nothing in mind, I began to write.
Meaningless words, shapeless colours, colourless hues.
My gray brain forming an enticing cave of safety.
I return to it, writing about nothing, my wandering mind let loose

....... You definitely wrote something and something very deep and meaningful ...
its difficult to say that what a beautiful write - up when someone has pour down the darkness of one's heart but the poem is beautiful ... and blogging about such feelings is ironical coz you write bout something sad and people look at it and say very nice ... n some how u like the complement ... :)
hope you feel better..


D2 said...

@Purba :
A mug of black coffee would go pretty well with that!

@Ritz :
Thank you. :)
When people talk about it being "beautiful" they talk about the poetry, not what was in my mind when I wrote it. I do feel better now. :)
Writing does help.

Sakhi Shah said...

I really loved this poem, it was quite beautiful. :)
Incidentally, is your name 'D2' from star wars?

D2 said...

Thanks, Sakhi. :)
No, my name has nothing to with R2-D2 from Star Wars! My friends coined 'D2' in my first year due to reasons which I'd rather not get into right now! :D

Sakhi Shah said...

You're welcome.
And lol. :)

Miss D said...

Strange is that I bumped into this poem exactly when I actually felt what you have written about.

Yet again, you spoke my mind. :-)

D2 said...

@Dimi : I do wonder why you were thinking this way at a time like this. But I'm glad that I'm speaking your mind often enough, if you say so. :-)

Rajendra Raikwar said...

I will surely come back For more.

D2 said...

@Rajendra : Yes, please.

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