Friday, March 5, 2010

Another Weird Day

My guitar string snapped. I stared at it with the most blank look anyone can muster. It was like staring into a void. I just felt that somewhere down the line, this was going to cause some serious problems for me. I just didn't know what exactly to expect. I really needed to play on it. It got me off some of the stress that was just heating me up all day. I had had a bad fight with my girlfriend. It was terrible. I couldn't get all the nasty thoughts out of my head. I remember saying truly horrible things, thinking worse. I know i didn't mean even half of them but I did say all that. Now there was no turning back. Given the moment, my guitar was my only friend. But the bloody string snapped. I tried playing some songs with power chords, but whenever i got to the solo, i just began staring at the string again like some guy suffering from Tourette's. I felt so helpless, clueless rather. The way that day had proceeded, this was my defining moment. I decided to go out and get the damn thing fixed. I got dressed quickly and put my guitar in its bag. Slinging the bag over my shoulders, i locked my door on my way out. I calculated if i taken everything i might need with me. I had money, my cap and i certainly had the keys to my bike safe in my pockets. I trudged slowly along to the parking lot. I didn't have too much of a hard time looking for my bike. It was sprawled on the ground where someone had accidentally knocked it over. I do hope it was an accident, i still don't know! I picked it up, put the key inside and kick-started the old thing. This wasn't going to be such a bad day after all, me merrily going to the music instruments shop to get my guitar fixed with no other thoughts to bother me. It was great. Just as I was about to exit my college gates, my cellphone rang. The Nokia tune ringing loudly and the vibration inside my pockets felt weirdly eerie then. It was probably because I wasn't expecting anyone to call then. It was probably my girlfriend. I stared at the number displayed on my phone's screen. Like so many times that day, I was clueless. It was an unknown number. I decided not to answer it. I muted my phone and slid it back into my pocket. Once again, I started driving. I ultimately reached Metro Plaza, where i would go to the shop called Music Den and have my work done. Parking my bike, I took my phone out once again. There were six missed calls from that same number. Now I was curious. Who was this? I called whoever it was back. “Dumb ass, why didn't you pick up the bloody phone?” It was Gaurav. I answered, “I'm outside. I have work.”

“Come back immediately. Did you forget about the party the seniors were going to throw because they're back for the convocation?”

“Crap. Yeah dude, I'll be there in a few minutes.”

Soon, I zipped away back to my hostel. I had forgotten about almost everything because of my recent tiff with my girlfriend. Well, tiff would be an understatement. War was more like it. We had been fighting for almost a week now. I might add that it was beginning to take a major toll on me. I wasn't eating properly, certainly less than two square meals a day, if you can count a meal in my mess as a square meal!
So there i was, driving towards my hostel, all thoughts of the girl forgotten. I only cared about the party, the booze, the smoke. At least if I got high, I'd feel better. As the looming hostel buildings approached, I slowed down, seeing guys from my group getting on their own rides ready to set out to wherever we were called. I parked my bike and asked them where I was supposed to go.

“Come behind the sports field. Most of the guys are already there.”

I hurried inside, opened my room frantically. I didn't even stop to think why i was in such a frenzy. Anyway, i burst through the door to my room as soon as i opened it, dumped my guitar on my bed and immediately rushed out. I sped to the place marked for the party. It was going to be awesome. I was going to meet the guys who had passed out of here. It had been a really long time since I'd seen them. They were fun. As i was approaching the small mass of people I assumed must be my group, one of them exclaimed, “Hey, D2 is here. Park your bike by that tree over there and then join us here.” So I did just that. Upon my arrival after parking my bike, I was handed a glass full of whisky and soda and was told to drink it bottoms-up. At that moment, I just wanted to swallow that beautiful drink, wanted it slowly sliding through my throat, warming me all the way. So i obliged. Soon after, I was handed another glass. Now everybody was just cracking jokes, poking fun at each other, wondering where everybody else who was supposed to join us were. It was great. I hadn't had this much fun in a really long time. I had a few rounds more. More people arrived. Then everybody decided to move the party to the final-year hostel (I'm a third year). So, my head buzzing, I walked over to my bike, getting lost twice in the dark. I drove it back towards them and then together, we drove back to the hostel. The scene here was similar, only on a rather grander scale. People were drinking. Someone was sitting against a car and playing the guitar, others were sitting with him in a circle. It was good to watch these people like that. I had a few more shots. Some guy had poured all the remaining whisky into the bottle of pepsi. I had no clue and drank a bit too much of that 'pepsi'. Now I was getting drunk. Just then, like so many times that day, my phone rang. It was my girlfriend. I answered it. I carried myself, the bottle full of spiked cola and my phone over to a corner and sat down in the dust. I told her where I was. We again had a fight. But this time, she cried a lot. I forgot about the bottle next to me. I got up and drove back to my own hostel. It was the first time i had driven drunk and it was exhilarating. There was nothing like it! Going into my room, our mellowed down fight continued. We spoke for a few hours. There was a lot of crying from both sides and in the end, she broke up with me (only to get together again 12 hours later).
After I hung up I was in shock. All the drunkenness had disappeared from me. My head was spinning no more. I just sat on my chair and stared at my lit laptop screen. Nothing was making sense. I flung my bottle of jam on the floor and it shattered into hundreds of pieces. I just remained sitting there, clutching my head in my arms. I don't have any recollection of how long I sat there, but after i decided to look up again, I noticed my guitar lying on my bed. I thought I'd play it for a while. I was sure it would make me feel a whole lot better, take my mind off all the crap that had just happened. I gently took it out of its bag, only to see that the string I had rushed in the evening to get fixed was still missing. Of course, I had come back to the hostel the moment I had spoken to Gaurav.

Life had come full circle. I was in the same position where I had started.


Richa said...

This is a sad, poignantly written piece. Very well written, though one wishes that you didn't have to write it at all. All the same. Life. :(

D2 said...

You know, as they say, life is harsh.
It's a goddamn battlefield!

Miss D said...

This is going to be a long comment.
I can feel it :P

Firstly, although this is going to sound truly sadistic, I am still gonna say this:

Out of the whole thing, what truly caught me is ".....if you count a meal in my mess as a square meal!"

...and I am still laughing about it. :D

About the rest of it, you talk about life being a circle... It is one, but the radius keeps increasing.

D2 said...

Dimi, this post is all about sadism. And frankly, a lot of it is true! Now I recall, the night was actually quite fun. It's almost as if I seem to have dramatized here! :D

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